Pure Escapism

A 21 year old Japanese man died of heart attack after playing an online multiplayer game for ten days, non-stop. Shocking! In the last ten days of his life, this guy didn’t even care to have a meal or drink, answer the nature’s call, not even bother to stretch up a bit. I never play a multiplayer game. So, it’s only natural that I don’t understand the excitement of it. Why people are so keen on playing it 24/7, it’s just beyond my comprehension. On the other hand, I have a guess on why that guy chose to play multiplayer game instead of living the “real” life. Boredom, lack of social contact, the need to prove his worth; you name it. Basically, he probably wanted to escape his life.

We need to get away from life once in a while. For me, the method is one of the following: reading, listening to certain type of music, watching movies, day-dreaming, browsing the internet. As for the Japanese guy I mention earlier, his means of escape was multiplayer game. And for him, instead of escaping life every once in a while, his time was dominated by the act of escaping. There are two periods in my life when this is also the case for me.

First period was during my days in junior high. I was (and still am, I suppose) this nerdy type of person. You know, the type of girl that no one wants to associate with unless they need your help for homework or the test. I wouldn’t blame anybody but me, though; I have to admit that I took the largest part in creating that image. Needless to say, I practically didn’t have social life. In short, you can say that my life was boring. Of course, with that kind of situation, it’s only normal for me to find a way out. And it’s understandable that I liked being in escape rather than living my boring life.

Second period is today, or to be exact, the past one and a half years. And now, the reason is entirely different from it was in my junior high years. My college years had indeed been very dull. For the last four years, academic duties kept me away from doing anything else besides studying. I didn’t join any student’s organization or club. Actually, I joined one, but it was simply because I felt that I had to. Not because I wanted to. During that time, I didn’t even have the time to dream, to escape; I was too absorbed with school.

I was just fed up with everything that I decided to escape. I’ve spent the past one and a half years escaping by means of reading and watching movies as many as I could, taking classes “unrelated” to my major, hooking myself up to the internet everyday in search of various fun stuff (fanfiction, Harry Potter essays, virtual community, etc). In short, the reason behind my escape this time wasn’t caused by boredom or the lack of social contact (my social life is waaaay better now); it was because I felt trapped. I felt like I had to be content enough with what people thought was good enough; while in fact, I disagreed with that notion. So, I escaped.

When you’re on the run, it’s very difficult to snap yourself back to reality. Everything is so safe and comfortable when you’re escaping. Even writing this (blogging) is basically just another form of escape. In the same time, I hope by doing it, I would be able to confront my feelings, my insecurities; or in other words, keeping in touch with reality.

Everything’s not always in its’ right place. That’s why we all need to escape once in a while. But do remember that we couldn’t run away forever. It’s not easy, but I’ll work on it.