We who have been searching, we are alike, like reflections in a mirror.
All it takes for us to connect is to face each other, and yet we remain seperated.
I strained my eyes,
I stretched out my hand.
Deep asleep like a fossil, I await my awakening.
Rain falls,
Time goes by.
Hey I really, I really want to know,
Just what does it mean to love?
When you smile, the world shakes a little and glows,
As if it comes to live and draws a breath.
We who can't protect anyone, we left this half-asleep town behind.
Become the water,
Become the wind.
How futile it is to fight and rob for the sake of one's desires.
When I shouted it out loud, the world turned its back on me without a word,
It pushed me away as though it was testing me.
For a moment,
For eternity,
Since the beginning,
Till the furthest ends.
Hey I really, I really want to know,
Just what does it mean to live?
When I ask that question, the world shakes a little and glows.
The truth that sleeps within me is now quietly being released.
Notes: Yes, it's supposed to describe Syaoran's circumstances, but since I found that I could really relate with what being said, I decided to paste it down. My thanks goes to Dark Mirage at http://lyrics.darkmirage.com who had translated and transliterated the real thing.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Unending Search 1/30/2009 08:59:00 PM
It's been two years and so since I started writing this blog and, interestingly, the hot topic I've constantly been writing about hasn't changed throughout the time. I'm still searching for meaning, without getting closer to the answer(s) than I was two years ago.
When I was in college, I thought the answer would simply materialize before me after graduation. That somehow everything would become crystal clear and that you'd understand instantly what you want to do and what it's all about. Alas, it didn't turn out like that. Life, as it seems, isn't as simple as school exams.
Sometimes I envy those who lead a simple life without thinking much. Their most crucial concerns seem to revolve around how to pay the bills, and that's it. Apart from that, they're pretty much content with the way things are going. I just can't lead such life. I'm restless over so many unresolved questions in my mind that I don't even know where to start searching for their answers.
But I digress. What I want to know now is: how to start searching? Should I just go with the flow? This option has already been rejected, since it'd be more likely for me to being drifted instead of arriving at my destination. Or would it be better if I just wait for some divine intervention to show me the way? I mean, this kind of method seems to be working in the past (with the Prophet Muhammad, the Buddha, and the likes). But wouldn't it be too much of a wishful thinking? After all, I'm not a holyperson. Or perhaps I should just choose a path, any path, and see what happens after that?
More importantly though, will this search ever end? Or is it just what life is all about: to go on an endless journey in search of something?
When I was in college, I thought the answer would simply materialize before me after graduation. That somehow everything would become crystal clear and that you'd understand instantly what you want to do and what it's all about. Alas, it didn't turn out like that. Life, as it seems, isn't as simple as school exams.
Sometimes I envy those who lead a simple life without thinking much. Their most crucial concerns seem to revolve around how to pay the bills, and that's it. Apart from that, they're pretty much content with the way things are going. I just can't lead such life. I'm restless over so many unresolved questions in my mind that I don't even know where to start searching for their answers.
But I digress. What I want to know now is: how to start searching? Should I just go with the flow? This option has already been rejected, since it'd be more likely for me to being drifted instead of arriving at my destination. Or would it be better if I just wait for some divine intervention to show me the way? I mean, this kind of method seems to be working in the past (with the Prophet Muhammad, the Buddha, and the likes). But wouldn't it be too much of a wishful thinking? After all, I'm not a holyperson. Or perhaps I should just choose a path, any path, and see what happens after that?
More importantly though, will this search ever end? Or is it just what life is all about: to go on an endless journey in search of something?
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Resonance 1/18/2009 11:00:00 PM
If I make you bored
It simply means
We aren't meant for each other
Notes: Yay, my first try at haiku! Well, I'm not too sure if it's really a haiku since haikus are subtle (and all of them are about nature) while mine is too explicit. Don't blame me, though; I'm not Matsuo Basho.
It simply means
We aren't meant for each other
Notes: Yay, my first try at haiku! Well, I'm not too sure if it's really a haiku since haikus are subtle (and all of them are about nature) while mine is too explicit. Don't blame me, though; I'm not Matsuo Basho.
Guilty Pleasure 1/18/2009 10:57:00 PM
I don't smoke or drink and I don't do drugs either. Nor do I want to. I don't refrain from using the internet though, and I must admit that it can be quite addictive. I don't think I'm addicted to the internet--I mean, I didn't go through withdrawal symptoms when I couldn't use the net--but I can't be positively sure either, since addicts always deny the fact that they're addicted.
Recently, I've been very into Facebook. This is simply the same old thing that manifests itself in a different from. Some time ago I was much too keen on fanfictions for my liking, and now Facebook trades place with them.
I admit that it's stupid. Nerds who spend all their waking hours trying to crack computer codes make more sense than me and my crazy obsession with Facebook apps. There's a challenge in code-cracking, a challenge that makes your brain craved for more and more. Facebook apps? What the hell is so good about them that I'm always inclined to try them out every time I log in?
Last week, I spent three hours on the internet and most were spent on Facebook. Afterwards, I was left with a sense of guilt. Guilty because I spent my time and money for such a useless thing. Lucky that we still use the ancient dial-up internet connection at home. If the connection was faster, I don't know how much more time I would spend on it.
Nevertheless, I can't help wondering why I felt so pleased after I managed to send "gifts" to my friends and acquaintances via Facebook, or to add some collections to my Visual Bookshelf. Yet I know that it was a hollow feeling, meaningless. Did I become more of myself after I did that? Certainly not. So why the fulfillment?
Will I ever stop?
Recently, I've been very into Facebook. This is simply the same old thing that manifests itself in a different from. Some time ago I was much too keen on fanfictions for my liking, and now Facebook trades place with them.
I admit that it's stupid. Nerds who spend all their waking hours trying to crack computer codes make more sense than me and my crazy obsession with Facebook apps. There's a challenge in code-cracking, a challenge that makes your brain craved for more and more. Facebook apps? What the hell is so good about them that I'm always inclined to try them out every time I log in?
Last week, I spent three hours on the internet and most were spent on Facebook. Afterwards, I was left with a sense of guilt. Guilty because I spent my time and money for such a useless thing. Lucky that we still use the ancient dial-up internet connection at home. If the connection was faster, I don't know how much more time I would spend on it.
Nevertheless, I can't help wondering why I felt so pleased after I managed to send "gifts" to my friends and acquaintances via Facebook, or to add some collections to my Visual Bookshelf. Yet I know that it was a hollow feeling, meaningless. Did I become more of myself after I did that? Certainly not. So why the fulfillment?
Will I ever stop?