One in the morning
And nobody’s out in the open
Yet my eyes wide open
Two in the morning
And darkness is closing in
Yet my senses refuse to give in
Three in the morning
And hours crawl by ‘til first lights come
Yet oblivion hasn’t come
Note: Written yesterday at 11.30 pm (GMT + 7) and based on real events.
We all love to think that every single one of us is special, unique. But are we? The egocentric assumption is challenged again and again in Orhan Pamuk’s The White Castle. At least that’s the vibe I was catching on.
At first glance, I assumed that it’s just another tale of adventure with historical background thingy--a genre which seems to be popular these days. Just look at the synopsis: An unfortunate Italian was captured, taken to the Ottoman Empire as a slave, and bought by a guy who looked exactly like him; they soon developed an unusual relationship because the master insisted that the slave taught him everything that he knew and cooperated with him (the master) in creating some ingenious inventions and deciphering the Emperor’s dreams. Well, it’s not. If your take on adventure is limited to those of Sinbads’ or Indiana Jones’, you definitely will not perceive The White Castle as a tale of adventure because the real drama happened within the character, not in the circumstances that they’re facing throughout the story.
Take the master, for example. He’s a really obnoxious guy who was full of himself, who sincerely believed that everybody else was stupid, who loved prying into people’s “dark” secrets. As I read the story, I realized that he took pleasure at looking down at people because it emphasized just how different he was from everybody else. The thought that he was remotely similar to others greatly infuriated him. Like the time when he tried to extract confessions of sins from his slave and townspeople and found out that the worst that they could offer were little lies and covetous instinct he would get angry--probably because their “sins” weren’t dissimilar from his--and torture them until they confessed something more sinister, more dramatic.
It’s creepy how I can relate to the characters. How I enjoy celebrity gossips--featuring their flaws--now and then, how I fancy put forth all my knowledge like some kind of expert when I’m really not, how I think highly of myself while labeling others “ignorant”.
Although the last sentences of the story were somewhat neutral, Peaches and cherries served on a pearl embedded platter... The nearly seventy-year old me who was sitting behind the table... A bird perching on the edge of the well between olive and cherry trees, I felt agony in each word. The agony of someone who, despite living a comfortable life, was not the person that everyone thought he was, living a dull life just like everybody else even though he was an “individual” who was “different” from them, and was just waiting death to come. Or was it me who was in agony realizing this?
Note: Thanks to Shofi for the book.
This will be a very very short review because: (1) There have been six chapters since my last review and going into details will make it confusing, not enlightening; (2) I haven’t got much time--duty calls. Here we go.
Chapter 166: The Closed World
Ashura’s dead. Celes was closed in by Fai’s magic (that was his second curse). Syaoran, Sakura, Mokona, and Kurogane managed to get out, but Fai was stuck. So, Kurogane cut his own arm to get Fai out of Celes.
Chapter 167: The Wounded Ninja
Kurogane awakened at Nihon. He spoke to Tomoyo-hime about his newfound understanding about strength and Tomoyo-hime’s decision to not tell him about his protective seal (yes, it was a protective seal!), and his not regretting giving up his arm. Fai darted in, knocked Kurogane on the head, and said, “This is payback, Kuro-sama!”
Chapter 168: The Promise in the Dream
Syaoran and Watanuki met in a dream. Syaoran told Watanuki to not disappear and that they’re closer than anybody else. Eight-page of Yuuko’s monologue: her saying that Fei Wong’s plan fell into pieces, but there was still one thing that went according to his plan; and her wishing that Fei Wong’s wish wouldn’t be fulfilled.
Chapter 169: The Witches’ Gift
Tomoyo-hime took the party to a sakura tree where Sakura was laid down--a sacred tree which would infuse a little vitality to Sakura’s soulless body. Fuuma arrived, bringing with him a mechanical arm from Piffle for Kurogane. In exchange, Fai gave the last of his magic--kept in the blue color of his remaining eye. Seishirou arrived.
Chapter 170: The Second Envoy
Seishirou unceremoniously attacked Fai, knowing that Fai had Kamui’s blood. Kurogane scowled him for being rash (and getting teased at by Fai, Tomoyo-hime, and Amaterasu) and so, Seishirou asked the gang more politely about the whereabouts of the vampire twins. Seishirou prepared to leave, but Syaoran stopped him, demanded that Seishirou returned Sakura’s feather.
Chapter 171: The Beatiful Battleground
Syaoran and Seishirou fought inside a kekkai made by Tomoyo-hime. Fai and Tomoyo-hime had a conversation about the price for safely sent to Nihon: Fai used his magic when they were transported to Celes and Tomoyo-hime gave up her dream-seer ability.
Note: Lots of thanks to wonderful people at Franky-House that had made it capable for me to read TRC scanlations.
Hate and grudge are not my style. When bad things happened or people offended me, I seldom blamed the situation or vouched to take revenge. I’d be upset for some time, that’s for sure, but the anger would dissolve in no time.
Nevertheless, there are certain episodes which I find hard to forget and forgive. My junior-high teacher who laughed at me for criticizing his use of a grammatical term. Another teacher--this one from high school--who said to my face that with my understanding, I wouldn’t be able to pass the university entry exam. A friend who made a joke about my working-at-home status. By now, I know there’s no reason for me to hold a grudge against any of them. That junior high teacher wasn’t exactly qualified in linguistics, I managed to get to first-rate university, and my friend was simply joking. Yet, I can’t help being furious every time those events come to mind.
See something in common? In either case, whether intentionally or not, those people have looked down on me. I went “Aha!” when I realized it--being looked down on, apparently, was (and still is) what I hated the most. If I was belittled, the whole “hate and grudge are not my style” wouldn’t apply.
Despite that, my resentment at being looked down on is an important factor that influences my character. Although I don’t particularly enjoy having people put their attention at me, I never hesitate sharing my knowledge and thoughts about miscellaneous stuff (from World History to my personal goals) to anyone who would care to listen. Sometimes, I keep rambling even though I’ve noticed their bored or dubious look.
I think, sub-consciously, I wish for people to know my “impressive” intellectual qualities. If they do, there’ll no complaint about my being dumb or incapable and therefore, I will not be looked down on.
Inconvenient the feeling might be, I don’t feel like letting it go. Strange as it sounds, the fear and resentment at being looked down on have helped shaping me--and I love what I’ve become.
Author’s Note: Don’t tell me that “It was rooted at your childhood” because I know that already. Gosh! Amazing how good you can be at pseudo-psychology after watching too much Oprah.
Consciousness. Whether it’s God-given or socially constructed is debatable, but whatever the case is, it’s there. That small voice that warns us when something doesn’t seem right. A constant reminder of what should and shouldn’t be done.
All’s fair in love and war, so it’s said. Still, be it in times of war or for the sake of love, your consciousness doesn’t let you go away easily when you do something which is not normally considered “good”. A series of questions will bug you endlessly: Have I done something wrong? Was it the right thing to do?
Killing, for example. I believe that human beings are compassionate by nature. Therefore, putting an end to somebody else’s lives is beyond reason. Strangely, men have proven capable of ending so many lives without remorse throughout the course of time. The Crusade, the atomic bomb on
When you look at it carefully, most--if not all--mass killings were based on “grand reason”. Most executioners didn’t kill a large number of people because they enjoyed it. In contrast, they did it for a reason far greater than themselves--national stability, world peace, the blessing of God.
Let’s reflect on their logic: “I don’t want to kill people. I shouldn’t kill people. But God punishes the heretics. Therefore, it’s alright if I kill the heretics. Therefore, I’m not deemed guilty if I kill the heretics.” Change the lines “God punishes...” with “the Japs killed my fellow countrymen in
Conscious-generated guilt is more powerful than any coercion or criticism put forth by others. They must believe with all their heart that they’re doing all the “bad” things for the greater good. Because, otherwise, it might be impossible for them get a good night sleep ever again.
Upon hearing the word “magic”, one might instantly think about doves that appear out of thin air, or maybe David Copperfield and him vanquishing the Liberty Statue. You know--things that are out of ordinary and seem to defy the laws of nature. Music is, I’m sure, not the first thing that comes to mind when one’s talking about magic. Too bad, really, considering the magic it possesses. In fact, music IS magic.
Just remember the times when music mysteriously affected you. How it inexplicably moved you, touched you, made you happy, made you sad. Take my experience. I was listening to Radiohead’s Fake Plastic Trees on my walkman (yes, walkman) when I suddenly felt strangely lonely, yet empowered. It’s weird because I’d heard the song many times, but I had never felt like that before.
There has actually been some research on this topic. So far, the finding shows correlation between music (or rather, listening to music) and the change of mental/physiological properties. For example, Baroque that makes one’s behavior more organized or Gregorian that calms the mind.
The effect is not always positive, though. Rock music, for instance, is said to make you more aggressive. I am against this biased generalization, but I guess there really is music that can make you feel crappy. If I’m not mistaken, there’s one Ozzy Osborne’s song (sorry Ozzy, nothing’s personal there) which had been alleged of triggering a teenager to killing himself because of its suicidal lyrics. You know, that life is worthless, and it would be good to be freed from its miserable existence; that kind of lyrics.
Suicidal lyrics? Well, one should know better. I think it’s the “dark” tones of the songs which play more part in it rather than the suicidal lyrics. After all, no one has been known to commit suicide after they read poetry or book with suicidal underlying theme, haven’t they?
On the other hand, listening to a particular type of music doesn’t necessarily make you feel a certain emotion. Let’s just say that the music has to resonate with something inside you in order for it to work its magic.
Am I making sense here? If not, well, music--magic--is not exactly something rational. We FEEL its beauty rather thank think it. One thing we know for sure is that music really does work its magic towards something within you; whatever that something is: your essence, spirit, soul--who knows?
Continuing from where we ended it last time.
Still, inside of Ashura-ou’s hall, reliving Fai’s past (which could be seen by Syaoran, Kurogane, and Mokona--they’re given a vision of it, apparently). While little Fai inside the tower seemed somewhat dejected and gave up being able to come out of his prison, little Yuui kept insisting on trying it. He piled up the dead bodies and climbed them up. It wasn’t very successful, though.
Between his tumbling, Yuui saw more and more of dead bodies thrown to the dungeon (I previously referred to it as “burial ground”). He suddenly realized that something must’ve happened in Valeria. He was right, because from a letter he found in the grasp of one of the dead, it said that the King of Valeria had gone mad and killed lots of people.
Just as Yuui tried to comprehend the bad news and made up his mind to return and help, suddenly his uncle, the King--the guy that banished the twins--was thrown inside the dungeon. The King looked all bloody and beaten up. Holding a sword, he blamed the twins once again of causing so much misfortunes in Valeria. Now, he and the twins were the only ones left in the country. And out of nowhere, he stabbed his own head with the sword.
To make it short, then came the mysterious slit from which Fei Wong Reed communicated with the twins, giving them the chance to come out, but they must choose one of them. Fai fell of the tower, Yuui wailed in terror, and Fei Wong said that a choice had been made. Yes, each twin had wanted their twin to come out instead of himself, but when Fei Wong first appeared, Yuui said, “Yuui wanted to come out.” Of course he meant with his brother, but Fei Wong didn’t see it that way.
Fei Wong then explained his terms of engagement. Yuui would be his pawn, accompanying a princess of the desert and a clone Fei Wong had prepared on a journey through dimensions in order to collect the princess’ feathers. Yuui had to make sure of her safety because it’s essential for the fulfillment of Fei Wong’s wish. If Yuui accepted the terms, then one day he might be able to revive his dead twin.
Fei Wong also told Yuui that he had planned to make another person as accomplice, a young boy from Nihon (yes, it’s our dear Kuro-wanwan). However, Yuuko had placed him in the care of a powerful seer, Tomoyo, before Fei Wong could reach him. In other words, Fei Wong declared that Kurogane was Yuuko’s pawn and he could be a hindrance between Fei Wong and his wish (and Yuui and his wish as well). So, he must be killed if necessary. Imagine that.
Then, Ashura-ou came to pick up Yuui. When Ashura asked his name, Yuui said, “Fai.” It looked like Ashura knew that it’s not his name, but he didn’t press the matter. So, they went to Celes; the dead Fai was placed inside a pool of water (the pool) along with Sakura’s feather--discovered when Yuui arrived at Celes--in order to prevent his body from rotting. Yuui wanted his hair cut so that he could place it near his twin and Ashura suggested that they placed the country’s talisman too--flourite. He then gave Yuui a new name, Fai Flourite of Celes, and insisted that he lived on until the day his wish is fulfilled. Oh yeah, and because Ashura-ou also wanted something from him. Jerk.
Now we return to the present. Chapter 159 is concluded with the scene of Syaoran and Mokona collapsing, and an extremely furious Kurogane took up his sword towards Fai (a. k. a Yuui). Something to be expected considering that he know now that Fai is helping out his mother’s murderer. Perhaps. You can never be sure if it’s CLAMP.
The story gets bleaker and bleaker; I wouldn’t be surprised if it ended up even angstier than Tokyo Babylon. Ah, well.
A year. More than a year, actually. It’s the amount of time that I’ve spent waiting for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (OP) movie to play on cinemas. I’d waited so long that queuing for hours in the cinema to get a ticket--five tickets, I mean--for next Monday didn’t matter to me.
That’s exactly what I did yesterday. I’m certainly not a morning person, but I didn’t mind waking up earlier than I was used to and went straight to the cinema that morning. I was prepared for hours of standing in line on eight in the morning. But guess what? The mall hadn’t been opened yet. I didn’t notice that the mall wouldn’t be opened until nine thirty. So there I was, trawling on the street--sort of--like a stray dog.
After one and a half hour, I went straight to the top floor of the mall, where the cinemas were located. Surprise, surprise, there had already been a line of ten or so in front of the counter. I kept my cool, though, and took my place in the end of the line. It took lots of patience to just stand there. Not because it’s tiring, it’s due to bunches of brats that couldn’t stop walking back and forth, making noises. I felt like kicking their a**. But forget about them.
The ticket sale was opened on ten thirty and the people started to get anxious. Some b****rds even cut off the line. When I got right in front of the counter, I asked politely if I could get five tickets for the 16th. Too bad, the surprise wasn’t over. The ticket girl said that the ticket for Monday wasn’t on sale yet. Sunday, perhaps.
Damn, damn, damn!
(Cursing at nobody in particular.)
I’m planning on giving a shot once more the day after tomorrow. Hopefully, my “work” will be paid this time and I’ll be able to watch OP on Monday. I’m coming!
I don’t drink coffee. I don’t smoke pot. I don’t use drugs. So why does it have to come to this?
It began a few days ago when, unexpectedly, I received good news by e-mail (concerning a chance to do something that I like very much; not to mention getting paid for it). Needless to say, I was excited and looking forward to its fulfillment.
In days to come following my receiving the news however, I started having problem concentrating at night. It’s not like I can’t concentrate at all, it’s just I can’t keep my mind fixed at one thing for more than, say, ten minutes. Considering that I’m a night person--do things that require intense concentration in lengthy period like reading or writing better at night than in the morning/afternoon--it is truly a big deal for me. As if that’s not bad enough, trying to sleep at night becomes difficult too--I just can’t relax and tell my mind to rest.
It felt exactly like the time when I drank coffee (which is something I seldom do, by the way). I’m being too pumped up, yet it’s useless because I couldn’t channel that extra energy to focus on doing something productive. I presume that using drugs would have the same effect, hence the comparison on the opening line.
There’s nothing wrong with getting high, but if you can get nothing out of it, what’s the use of it anyway?
Shipping--the eternal joy of every fangirl everywhere. Nothing beats it when the ones that you ship for finally get together. I have to pause here for awhile before I make some ignorant people who might spend their time reading this rant more confused (“Shipping? What the hell is that?”).
The term “shipping” is taken from the word “relationship”. Rooting for a relationship of the romantic kind between characters of a story (book, motion picture, manga, game--basically any kind of story that you can think of) is what shipping is all about. Sounds familiar, huh? Even when one is not familiar with this fan-created term, I don’t think that the activity is at all new to you.
What’s so great about shipping anyway? Besides the fact that it serves your appetite for romantic corniness (;p),it’s a nice diversion during the long wait of a story’s next installment. And when a story has the probability of ending up bleakly--by character’s death, for example--shipping is definitely better than distressed over the angsty future.
You can ship all you like, be it the characters which have good chance of ending up together or not. It’s all for the sake of your own amusement and there shouldn’t be any problem with that. For example, I ship for Luna Lovegood and George Weasley of “Harry Potter” (after reading some good Luna/George fics at FanFiction.Net--one of them is “The Dateless Wonders” which I highly recommend). As far as I can remember, these two never appeared together on the story which makes it quite impossible for them of having a romantic relationship. However, the idea of Luna and George together is such interesting to play out with that I couldn’t resist the temptation to ship them.
Unfortunately, shipping can be a pretty touchy subject at times. If you liked a couple very much, you’d probably detest other shippers who shipped different pairs. You would put forth evidences to back up the plausibility of the pair you’re shipping for. This would lead to shipping battles, which could be easily found in many sites and online forum out there.
Personally, I think that shipping battle somewhat beats the purpose--which is why I never involve myself in it. If your ship doesn’t work (the real story nullifies your pair), don’t get angry at the author and refuse to read the real story ever again--just write your own fanfiction. If you disprove other ships, ignore them--look out for a shipping community that you’re actually fond of. Just as simple as that.
The point is, shipping about having as much fun as you want to with those characters. So, don’t brood too much over it. Expand your horizon, use your imagination. Or something like that.
OK, here’s another piece of review which needs to be written. Badly. Please bear with me. Because this review consists of … chapters and it definitely be extra long if I discuss each chapter individually, I’ll try to summarize the important things only. On with the show then.
About Yuuko:
Kurogane has every right of calling Yuuko with various derogatory names, considering how she loves to tease him mercilessly.
Yuuko is definitely mischievous in her own way, but it doesn’t change the fact that she truly cares for Syaoran and the gang (and Watanuki, of course--and we all know she LOVES to torture Watanuki :D). According to Geo of Infinity, Yuuko was the one who’s pained the most because she knew everything that would happen to Syaoran-tachi, yet she could never tell them or do something to change all the agonizing future that awaited them because the rule of the world forbid her to do so.
I love Yuuko for her eccentric ways, but I didn’t think that I would ever sympathize with her. Now I do, though.
About going to Celes:
Just to make everything clear: Sakura’s not really dead. Her soul was separated from her body, but her life didn’t disappear. Confused? So am I.
To make things short, it’s important to obtain her body from Celes so that: 1) She’d be able to be revived; and 2) Fei Wong Reed and his cronies could not get Sakura’s feather-contained body.
Giving the prize money they won at the chess competition as the price (because it’s something that the four of them--Syaoran, Kurogane, Fai, and Mokona--acquire together), off they went to Celes. Using Mokona’s power alone, it’s impossible to choose which world to head to. Therefore, Yuuko asked Fai to use his magic power synchronously with Mokona in order for them to advance to Celes.
Fai wasn’t at all pleased at his return and meeting Ashura-ou. He was dreadfully shocked, however, at seeing a creepy looking little kid which stood along Ashura-ou. As if that wasn’t enough, the kid pointed his skinny hand at Fai and said, “You killed me”.
The kid was supposed to be Fai’s twin brother, but how could it be--since he’s dead (there’s a death scene of one of the twins in the previous chapter)? What’s with Fai having a twin? Just read on.
About Syaoran:
Syaoran got terrible headache as the gang entered the castle in Celes and it got worse when they proceeded to Ashura’s hall. What’s with that?
About Fai:
Fai’s apparently a prince; his father’s older brother was the emperor of a country called “Valeria”. Too bad that he was born twins and magically gifted--two things which was considered as bad omen by the people of Valeria.
They could not be killed because it would only cause more misfortunes. As a solution, the emperor banished Fai and his twin brother--Yuui--to a valley where time flowed differently and magic was ineffective. Fai was imprisoned inside a tower while Yuui was put under--in some sort of burial ground.
About the curse:
No, it’s not about the so called unlucky twins. It’s about Fai’s curse. Killing someone who’s magically more powerful than him was not Fai’s only curse, it seemed. He’s accursed of something else--a curse which could only work in Celes. This curse has not been revealed yet.
Well, this review turned out shorter than I’ve expected. Let me wrap things up by quoting a passage from chapter 155’s ending:
“The revealed past, the connected curses. The conclusion to the tragedy is?!”
Ever since “The Da Vinci Code” became a big hit, bookstores have been filled with books of similar themes: adventure novels with a taste of “history”. One of them is “The Historian” by Elizabeth Kostova. I hadn’t read any new releases for some time, so when my friend offered that book to me, I was more than glad to accept her offer.
“The Historian” is an old story with a new twist, actually. It’s a long-long-long narrative about the hunt of, undoubtedly, the most famous phantom in our pop culture--vampire. Not just a vampire, but the vampire--Count Vlad of the Order of the Dragon (aka Dracula). Familiar, eh?
First, a little bit of summary. A woman (which remained nameless all through the book) recaptured a chapter in her life when, as a young woman, she followed the trail set by her predecessors (her father and her father’s post-graduate supervisor) in their hunt for Dracula. The quest extended for three generations (1930’s-1950’s-1970’s), that’s why I said that it’s a long-long-long narrative. The woman told her story, which in it contained his father’s story of his own past experience, which in it contained the memoirs of his supervisor. Confusing? I wouldn’t blame you. During my reading the book, there were times when I was befuddled myself at whose narrative it was which presented before me. Really, it took full concentration to read the book.
Each narrator (the girl, his father, her father’s post-grad supervisor) was lured into finding out all about Dracula, even going for a quest in search of him, due to the mysterious discovery of an old book. There weren’t any writings on the book, saved for the picture of a dragon with an inscription of “Dracula” in the middle pages of the book. Enough with the summary; lets on to my impression on the story.
In my opinion, “The Historian” fulfils the most basic requirement of a good story--the power to capture its audience (or readers, in this case). Unless there’s something more pressing that needed to be done immediately, I found it difficult to stop reading the book. That’s just how skillful Kostova was at weaving her tale.
Regardless its title, “The Historian”--a reverence to Dracula’s keenness in keeping the chronicles of men by means of keeping a private library--merely uses historical facts as ornaments. These facts are not really important for the sake of history itself.
Let me explain. There are a bunch of historical facts in “The Historian”. One wouldn’t have accused Kostova for not doing enough research because she did--foreign relations among countries during the Cold War, Ottoman Empire’s conquest of
In short, Kostova is only used historical facts to make her story more interesting, not because the importance of these facts--something which, as a history obsessed freak, I don’t fancy.
Nonetheless, it’s only trivial matter compared to the fact that there are far too many coincidences in the story. Too many coincidences that even the most unobservant readers will not fail to notice them. THAT is the more substantial flaw of “The Historian”. It seems that every time the girl’s father went--whether it’s a foreign city with a million people population or an international congress unrelated which topic unrelated whatsoever to Dracula--he would always meet people that possess the same mysterious book. He’s also very lucky to always find the documents containing information necessary to continue his investigation in such short period of time. Even the grand closure, when Dracula was successfully vanquished, is set upon accidental fashion. Isn’t it quite spectacular that two people who had just arrived--in a timely manner, by the way--at the spot, could be able to organize the perfect ambush to beat an extremely intelligent character who had outsmarted his enemies for near half millennium?
The overabundance of coincidences is only one of “The Historian” ‘s minus points. Until now, I’m still left in the dark about Dracula’s true motive of giving his dragon books to all those people. Sure, it’s mentioned that Dracula only gave his books to few selected individuals; mainly historians because they had the ability to “preserve the past”, so to speak, something that Dracula himself wished to do. That also explains why Dracula ended up taking Professor Rossi (the post-grad supervisor) and told him to make an inventory of Dracula’s book collection.
Still, something is amiss. Why not just make the historians his slave right from the very start? It would surely save lots of time and energy. Dracula wishes that his existence kept secret, which was why he tried to intimidate anyone who tried to find out more about him. If that’s the case, why he gave the dragon book in the first place--knowing the curious nature of the historians would surely cause them to track Dracula? There were five people that received the book, but why only Professor Rossi that was kidnapped when the other historians also took inquiries to pursue him? I wonder if anybody who had read the book could tell me the answers to all those questions.
Overall, “The Historian” is worth the read, especially if you like adventure novels. It’s not one that I’d like to add to my favorite book list, though.
Nothing sophisticated and of important came up in my mind recently, so please pardon me for another episode of useless rambling. The topic today--as you can see for yourselves--is my favorite fictional characters. How does one define “favorite”? For me, the matter is quite simple. “Favorite characters” are the ones I’m so obsessed with that I take the trouble to search for their profile info, character analysis, and fanfictions featuring them. Crazy fangirl.
Without further ado, lets on with the show. Here they are (in no particular order).
Luna Lovegood (of Harry Potter)
Just when you think that the wizarding world couldn’t be much weirder, Luna came along. Her belief in the supposedly non-existent being (and basically anything too spectacular to be true), her odd fashion sense, her peculiar comments--you name it. JKR said that having Luna was somewhat a comic relief--especially with the way each books getting even darker and darker--but I think Luna served more purpose than that. In Book 5, Harry was reluctant to sit in the same compartment with Luna due to her oddities. His opinion towards Luna changed in Book 6, where he didn’t simply perceive her as an odd girl as everyone else. It proved that Harry had learned to not judge someone by their appearance, thanks to his interaction with Luna. In that sense, we can say that Luna had helped Harry to develop as a character. That’s why I love her. I love her weirdness too, by the way.
Arisugawa Sorata (of X/1999)
Amongst all the “dark”, depressed, heart-wrecking nuances of X/1999, it’s such relief to have a character like Sorata around. Every time he appeared on the scene, I found it impossible not to grin upon his actions and remarks (like the time he suggested to go to an okonomiyaki restaurant because “you couldn’t fight with an empty stomach”, just when you thought that Kamui would kill Arashi with his deadly glare). Too bad he’s going to die in the end of the series in order to “protect the woman I love”. Gallant or corny, you decide!
Faramir (of Lord of the Rings)
One couldn’t help but like this character after what he’d done to our hero Frodo. Faramir could easily snatch The Ring from Frodo for his own selfish uses--earning a bit of his father respect in the process--but he didn’t. You got to respect him for that; it took a great deal of willpower not to fall for the temptation of The Ring. Courageous, intelligent, wise, thoughtful, loyal--Faramir was the archetype of the perfect gentleman you often encountered in such stories (with a little bit of sad tragedy in him, though).
Tsukishiro Yukito (of Card Captor Sakura)
Yukito was the very personification of cuteness. Well, he/she/it/whatever was not actually a person, but you know what I mean :D. Yukito was so cute you wanted to eat him/her/it/whatever. Too bad his/her/its/whatever alter-ego didn’t share the same charm.
Saitou Hajime (of Rurouni Kenshin)
Saitou Hajime was based on a real life character of the same name. The real Saitou was a controversial figure; once being the member of the Shinsengumi (a “police force” formed by the Tokugawa Shogunate to maintain peace and order in
Helga G. Pataki (of Hey
One didm’t need an aptitude test (Hello, Mr. Simmons!) to find out that Helga was a genius. Unfortunately, Helga was keener on keeping up her class-bully image--her way to hide her insecurity--instead of showing her brilliance to the whole world. Helga’s parents (Bob the narcissistic father and Miriam the smoothie-addicted mother) had always been more infatuated with her perfect older sister Olga ever since Helga was young which consequently made them indifferent towards her. It’s no wonder that when she met the first person who showed some consideration (
Kurogane (of TSUBASA RESERVoir CHRONiCLE)
Well, that’s it. Until next time then.
Yes! After four years, Manchester United finally wins the Premier League. It feels surreal that I’m still having trouble believing it. Even now, I’m getting up in the morning with a goofy smile at my face, glad that United winning the title once again is not a dream.
However, I couldn’t help being irked at the moron (and the rent boys) comment that United were not the best team. United simply gained more points than everyone else, but his team remained the best in
Yeah right. I never know that claiming yourself as the best while saying that the winner’s just being lucky when you lose in a competition is considered a respectful attitude towards the winner.
I guess one’s true colors can only be seen when he fails. People are in such a good mood during their moments of victory that they don’t mind being friendly and generously praising just about everybody, opponents included, for their good work. Of course, they might not be that generous in showing their appreciation to others when they’re on the losing side.
Nevertheless, you can choose whether to lose in style or not. Instead of making excuses and being in self denial, it’s better to evaluate your performance and try to do better next time around. Mourinho has made himself a laughing stock by moaning and saying things like he did. Plus, it shows us yet again (remember when
Hopefully, the lads will be able to trash them out next Saturday at Wembley. Then, United can have the last laugh once more.
I’m out of here....
Spoiler Alert: The following contains major spoilers from TRC’s chapter 147 onwards. Read at your own risk!
Let’s see what happened so far on Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles. Fai was cursed to kill those who’re stronger magically than himself (in exchange of his freedom). Fai stabbed Sakura a la Sakurazukamori. Sakura’s wish was to go alone to a dream where her feather was located (which was fulfilled--Sakura’s soul went to the dream while her body went to Celes). Fai offered his right eyesight to Yuuko as a price of his wish, which was contrary to his initial one, to return to Celes.
I must admit that I was extremely shocked when Sakura was stabbed. Knowing CLAMP (especially with chapter 120 still lingering in the back of my mind), I shouldn’t have surprised, but still. I was so dejected after reading chapter 148 (or was it 147? sorry, I read it online and didn't save it to my computer) that I refused to relate with anything Tsubasa-related for a whole week. Very unlike-me. I even changed my Tsubasa desktop wallpaper--featuring the gang with smile all over their faces (even Kurogane smiles!)--to “Hey Arnold!” because I couldn’t stand seeing them with such happy-joy-joy expression. Yes, call me crazy for obsessing over a manga to that extent.
Back to the topic.
In my review of chapter 146, I mentioned that something bad would probably happen to Fai (since his face was not present on the recollection of Sakura’s dream about the future), something bad that Sakura wished not to happen. Indeed. Fai was supposed to kill not only Sakura, but also Syaoran and Kurogane in a fit of madness. At least that’s what Sakura and Lantis foresaw. However, not resisting to Fai’s attack enabled Sakura to bid her final encouragement and goodbye to the rest of the gang (Fai in particular)--preventing Fai from going berserk in the process.
Painful as it was, recent chapters finally gave us some info on Fai’s past. Some things remains unclear though, like Fai’s motive for running away from Celes (Okay, it had something to do with Ashura-ou, but what was it exactly and why did he want to return there all of the sudden? Was it merely to regain Sakura’s body or was there another reason?), who and with whom he was being imprisoned long time ago (assuming it was LONG time ago), and why he was being imprisoned (it must’ve had something to do with Fai’s magical ability, but what’s the importance of locked him up because of it?).
As TRC coming closer to its end, we got to see recurring themes and incidents from CLAMP’s previous works such as wish and its consequences, (somewhat) double-identity crisis, brutal murder (stabbing) by the person you’re least expected, lost of eye/eyesight, premonition in a dream, and of course, hitsuzen (but that had already been mentioned way back in the beginning of the story). It’s fair to assume that we’ll be likely seeing more of familiar CLAMPish themes in the upcoming chapters.
Personally, I have no clue on how CLAMP will wrap up things between the gang (including Sakura; her soul, at least), Syaoran-clone, and Fei Wong Reed. After all, Fei Wong was the one who orchestrated everything in the first place: the death of Kurogane’s parents, Syaoran’s relationship with Sakura, the journey, and even Fai's curse seemed to be his doing as well. However, I suspect that--despite all the horrible things Fei Wong had done--it would probably be revealed later on that his true motive was not all incomprehensible. Selfish maybe, but understandable. You know, like Clow Reed’s true wish in Card Captor Sakura (even though Clow was by no means evil; mischievous maybe, but not evil). It would be very CLAMP-like to end a story like that.
When something bad or disappointing happened, you just needed to be left feeling down alone. This premise was put forth by Scottish band Travis’s vocalist/song-writer Fran Healy who commented about their song--”Why Does It Always Rain on Me”. I didn’t get it at first. I mean, it’s hard to believe that anybody would enjoy feeling down. Nevertheless, personal experience (and Oprah) finally proves it right.
I consider myself a very optimistic person. This assumption is true, most of the times. However, I had a hard time get myself back together after a disappointment recently. Probably it’s more accurate to say that I “lost strength” instead of “having hard time”. Cheering up and convincing yourself that everything would be alright were tiring. I felt like I didn’t have the energy to do that anymore. Wallowing in self-pity was much easier and that’s what I did. I even kind of like it. Strange indeed. Apparently, Fran Healy was right after all.
Since feeling down can be quite enjoyable, there’s nothing wrong about feeling that way as long as you don’t overdo it. We have to bear in mind that there’s the danger of letting ourselves into that state of mind for far too long. Some people might choose to remain sad and helpless because it takes strength and courage to move on. In other case, people might not be able to snap it out of their despair because they’re in to deep and don’t know how to get out of it.
Either way, it depends on the people around them to read the signs (retreating from society, constantly having bad mood, suicidal ideas--you know, stuff like that) and do something to help. Even simple thing like listening, REALLY listening, to them could be major help. If you choose to be ignorant or unsympathetic to those who’re in despair, it’ll always rain on them and who knows, they might die of thunderstruck one day.
Author’s Notes: Dedicated to Nilam who made me feel much, much better after talking to her. Thanks a lot!
People try to put us down
Just because we get around
Things they do look awful cold
I hope I die before I get old
--“My Generation”, The Who--
The Who had perfectly summarized the sentiments shared by young people all around the world, living in different times. Young people are eager to speak up, righting wrongs, and make a change for the better. But as always, the older generation is always there to shut them up, repress them, and keep things as they are. The older generation is often disrespectful towards younger people simply because of their youth and that’s despicable. Being quite young myself (twenty something), I can definitely relate to that kind of feeling.
History shows us that young people truly have what it takes to make a change. There are three major events in my country which were driven by young people’s movement. First, it was the declaration of independence which would probably wait until 1949 if it’s not for the young people who persuaded our nation’s leader to proclaim it sooner than later. Second and third events were rather similar in essence, the fall of dictatorial leaderships which were driven by students’ protest all over the country. The “it” factor was certainly there, no doubt about it.
Unfortunately, the “it” factor seems to fade away as they’re getting older. And soon enough, they’re transformed into the likes of the older people they used to despise: oppressive, egotistical, arrogant--you name it. I happen to know these kinds of people, and there are many of them.
How does this degradation happen to people anyway? I think the answer is plain and simple: self-contentment.
There’s nothing wrong about being proud of yourself, to a certain extent. It might even be a good sign because it’s rather depressing if you’re growing old without the sense of achieving something. However, it’s not good if, out of self-contentment, you give yourself credit (because you feel that you deserve it) while hurting somebody else in the process. It’s not good to put aside the opinion of those younger than yourself just because you feel that you’ve “been there, done that” (and therefore, wiser and more experienced). Too bad most of them, the older generation, don’t realize that. They used to, but now, not anymore.
People never learn from the past, though, and there’s a good chance that my generation too, will turn out to be as despicable as the older generation. If that’s the case, I think Roger Daltrey made a good point when he sang, “I hope I die before I get old”.
Recently, a guy moaned about how our class mailing list seems to be lacking “warmth”. People seem to be more interested in posting forwarded e-mails or job ads rather than sending encouraging words or their own life-inspiring stories. People have their own reasons for doing so, like being so busy with their new life that they don’t have the time to write anything original, being contented enough by being passive member of the list, and so forth.
For me, and many others I suspect, the reason was plain enough: writing about my hopes and fears on the list just feels uncomfortable. Actually, I’m not the type of person who’s contented enough by keeping her own thoughts for herself. I don’t share them with just anybody, though. I only share them with my closest people: friends and families. Or to say it in other words, which would make me sound like a cold-hearted b****rd I’m sure, I only perceive most people on that list (my classmates) as acquaintance--snot friends. At least not “friends” in its’ truest sense of word.
Friends are basically the people you feel comfortable with. There cannot be a more adequate way to say it than the above phrase: “friend is the family you choose”. When you’re with family, you don’t hold back (at least that’s what it’s like in my family). You can say and do things (well, most of the things) freely without being afraid of making fun of yourself. And when you do make fun of yourself, you could care less because you know your family wouldn’t make a big deal of it (except at times, when they use those embarrassing moments as memento for their own personal pleasure :D).
In the end of the day, it really can’t be helped, though. Some people treat everybody they know as “friends”, not just “acquaintances”. I’ll have to accept that I’m not that kind of person. Sorry for not being THAT friendly.
“Arabian Nights” is a good example on how a story-teller should bring up her/his story. Keep the audience in suspense the whole time the story is being presented. Leave the story at the opportune place so that the audience would crave for more. I don’t think CLAMP would need to turn to “Arabian Nights” for guidance though, because they’re successfully doing so in Chapter 146. They leave enough (not too much, not too little) information for speculation and at the same time, leaving us curious to what will happen next. Just brilliant.
Chapter 146 consists mostly of fighting scene between Syaoran and the robot (automata). But that’s not the reason why it’s so interesting.
Reason no. 1: Fai, his mental state, and his interaction with Kurogane. Now that Ashura-ou had awakened (once again reminded by Chii), it seemed that Fai was thinking about running away. It’s not stated explicitly, but we can assume that from Fai’s thought and gesture. Then, out of nowhere (well, not really), Kurogane grabbed his (Fai’s) arm. (Fangirls would be squealing seeing it; I know I did ^_~)
This particular scene perfectly mimics the infirmary scene in Card Captor Sakura (when Yukito stopped Touya). It’s also equally as important. Call me crazy for overanalyzing things, but Kurogane doing so signified once again that he cares about Fai, that he knew something was amiss about Fai, and still, he didn’t give a damn about it (to make it fair, I’m sure that the rest of the company feel the same way).
The interesting thing was that how surprised Fai looked receiving the gesture. After what Kurogane (and others) had done for him, Fai should’ve known how much he cared about him. It looked as if Fai never had people truly cared for him his whole life that when somebody really did, he had hard time believing it.
Reason no. 2 (and this one’s substantially more important than “reason no. 1”): the future Sakura saw in her dream. I have to admit, I’m rather confused about it. In the previous chapters, Sakura declared that she wished to be able to cross dimension alone and choose which dimension to go because there’s something she wanted to change about the future. So, I always assume that the future she wanted to change would be happening in that particular dimension, not in Infinity. However, in Chapter 146, Sakura said that “The future I saw in the dream was something in this final battle. I won’t allow such a thing”. I’m completely at loss there.
But just lets’ forget my confusion for now. There’s something else about the dream, which is purely (my) speculation, but it’s worth to think about. At the scene where Sakura said that the future she had seen had been something in that final battle, glasses were shattered around her (it looked exactly like the scene in “X” where Hinoto mentioned about her dream). On those shattered glasses, there were faces of Syaoran and Kurogane. But Fais’ wasn’t there. Does it mean that the future had something to do with Fai? Will something bad happen to him during the course of the fight?
We’ll just happen to wait for next week to find out the answer. Hopefully, we’ll see what the future is (and whether Sakura could change it or not) and what Fai’s true motive really is (and if we’re lucky, more about his background).
“In dreams begin responsibilities”. It’s actually the title of a short story (?) about a boy who had the most unusual occurrences--he later found out that it was just a dream when he woke up, on the morning of his birthday. It’s not the story that makes me hooked up (I never read the story in the first place ^_^, LOL), but rather, it’s the phrase itself: “in dreams begin responsibilities”. I’ll tell you why.
One would easily notice that I’m the kind of person who’s obsessed over the concept of “personal dreams” (or “goals”, whatever floats your boat). I have this strong belief: only by having particular goals (and trying to fulfill those goals) in life that we’ll be able to add meaning to our miserable existence. People might disagree with that notion and if you’re one of them, suit yourself!
However, it is not enough. We’re not alone in this world and it’s only natural if we consider others during the course of our personal dreams fulfillment. Without doing so, we’ll just end up like one of those selfish b....rds who are happily sucking up blood of the powerless. Those people can all go to hell and I certainly don’t want to be like them, thank you very much. We have the responsibility to share a bit of our dreams to others. The time when we start dreaming is the time we start to take upon THAT responsibility.
Still confused?
Imagine yourself as a kid who just saw a police officer for the first time. You’re very much impressed by the police’s helpfulness and friendliness that from that moment on, you decided to become a police officer when you grew up. Or imagine reading a book. A very impressive book. It’s so impressive that it made you want to be a writer one day.
From that moment on, is it too much if one asks you--the dreamer--to become a police officer who’s equally as heroic or a writer who could make a work that touches people’s heart such as the ones who had once inspired you? I don’t think it’s too much of a request to make. And if that’s really the case, I don’t think you would mind either. In fact, I’m sure that’s exactly the type of police officer or a writer that you want to be.
Just give the idea a thought. I’m sure you’ll find me right sooner or later (and if you don’t, who cares?). Until next time, sweet dreams!
Author’s Notes: Sorry for the foul words. I just feel like it.
The saying “the grass is always greener on the other side” is absolutely right. When I was still in school, I couldn’t wait until the next holiday came. However, when I was in an NEET (not in employment, education, and training) state--which means that every day is a holiday--I feel like I want to go back to those school days.
The problem is, my life after graduation is rather monotonous. Well, boring and unproductive are probably more accurate, but you get the point. My daily activity now mostly consists of watching TV, playing video games, browsing the internet, and reading books. Dull, eh? That’s why “distractions”--like the translation job that I got some time ago--are always welcome. Regardless of that, I suspect that once I’ve got a job, I would probably want to return to my current state of idleness.
My sleeping pattern is also significantly altered. These days, I go to bed after midnight nearly every day because TV programs are more interesting then. When everybody else is sleeping soundly, I feel energetic and not sleepy at all. On the contrary, it’s no wonder that I feel sleepy during the day.
This piece is pointless, really, and I only write this because I’m bored.
By the way, I think I’ll split this blog into some categories like “rambling”, “review”, “insight”, etc. Probably by doing that will make me less lazier to update--since I have the tendency not to update regularly if I don’t have anything “spectacular” to write about. See you in the (hopefully) near future!
First, I’ve gotten another job interview last Thursday. Of course, it doesn’t guarantee that I’ll get the job. But at least it’s giving me the confidence that I’m capable of convincing people of my capability (through my resume) of sorts.
Second, my friends have passed their oral comprehensive test which means they’ll be graduated next month. Good job, mate!
Third, Manchester United is standing strong on top of the Premiership table. Not that I don’t think about the debt problem or the fact that Old Trafford seems to grow quieter (in terms of the voice of support, not the number of crowds) these days. But I don’t what to think about it just now.
Fourth, my favorite fanfic has been updated after a month. It’s just getting better and better. I wish there won’t be any main characters death (like in the original work) this time, though.
Fifth, HanaDan’s second season has been aired. There’s still some (a lot of) time until it’s finished (it only got to the second episode in
Sixth, I’ll gather with my pals this weekend. You know just how precious those moments you’ve shared with your friends once you’re separated from them. That’s why I’m looking forward to it and eagerly waiting for it with anticipation.
Seventh, I’ve got some translation work. It’s not easy (you get to appreciate professional translation more after you realize just how difficult their job really is), but hey, I’m not doing it for free ;p.
Eighth, “The King” has finally awakened. Some character development for Fay-san in the near future, hopefully. Not to mention the cover of Chapter 141 could make any fangirl (including myself) scream in delight. (Yeah, I know I’m obsessed)
Amidst all the misery in this world, it’s good to still be able to cheer up about something. ‘Ja ne!
Yes, it’s official. J. K. Rowling had announced that the last installment of Harry Potter series would be entitled “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”. Just as expected, fans everywhere greets it with excitement: chat-rooms and forums being crowded by people posting their view on it, in depth analyses of the title in the form of essays being published online, obsessed teenage fans debating over whether Dan Radcliffe should’ve kissed the girl who played Cho Chang in the next Harry Potter movie or not.... Erm, yes, those are the things people do in anticipation of the next Potter book, except for the last one--which is absolutely irrelevant--regardless of the fact that some obsessed teenage fans (of Dan Radcliffe, I suppose) really DO debate over the matter.
Prior to the announcement, I was convinced that the story wouldn’t end with Harry’s death. Now, I’m not so sure anymore. It’s not so much because of the seventh book’s title or Ms. Rowling’s statement (saying that she would go through a “mourning period” before starting her next work). I mean, having “Deadly Hallows” on its’ title doesn’t mean that the leading man will end up dead and any writer will mourn when they finally wrap up a project they’ve been doing for ten years or so (just like Ms. Rowling does).
Of course, I wouldn’t bet my life on it. After all, it’s only a gut feeling. To find out whether Harry will be dead or not, we just have to wait until the book is at stores--only God and Ms. Rowling know when it will be. Regardless of how Book Seven will end up, I’m sure I’ll enjoy every part of it.
